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From: Josh
Date: 09 Nov 2000
Time: 05:24:18
Remote Name: 205.188.192.26
I think this will probably be the first of several posts for me. I hope everyone starts to post more and more memories and thoughts about the whole process. I think that this particular use of technology might be an interesting voice for everyone as they explore different phases of mourning and celebration.
However...this is a celebration story.
As I've said a number of times lately, my role in people's lives is usually to be the "tough love" guy who helps people get their acts together. But I find myself often wondering where to turn when I need to lean on someone. And despite many offers from people, Wendy was one of those rare people who I could actually turn to....
"Wendy...it's Josh. I need you to be funny. Right now." "Josh, what's wrong?" "Wendy. Funny. Now."
So without question, she just started rambling on about something or another (probably a boy since that's usually what we talked about) and eventually I calmed down.
I had been driving home, and a bird had swooped down and thumped into the windshield of my car. Then, just to make things worse, it was on my hood, not quite dead yet. I had had to pull onto a side street on my way home, get the bird off the hood, then put it out of its pain, and even though it wasn't really my fault, I was still a quivering wreck. If Wendy hadn't been there to take the call, I have no idea how I would've made it home. That made Wendy so amazing to me. Just without question, she stopped everything and talked. She was never too busy when it really mattered.
I think one of the things that's been hardest for me is listening to all the stories. At first, I kept thinking, "I can't think of any Wendy stories." And it really upset me. She was just there and smiling and happy and fun. And there I was a crying mess and I couldn't think of a story! But I talked about it with Laura and I think we both sort of decided that, for us...for me, at least (not to put words in Laura's mouth!), it's the fact that she was just there that made her special. Watching her fingerpaint her way to a masterpiece, or having white chocolate martinis, or talking about boys, or talking about boys while drinking white chocolate martinis...it was the moments that I'm missing most from my life, not so much the stories. I'm sure I'll remember more as my memory allows itself to open again.
Although, I promise that if I remember any really good dirt, I'll be sure to post it! :-)
There's so much more that I want to write, but I'll post again soon. I hope everyone does. And like I said earlier, I'm interested in exploring this as more than just memories or basic information...looking forward to seeing where this grows.
Love and peace, Josh