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From: Josh
Date: 01 Dec 2000
Time: 03:46:34
Remote Name: 172.138.163.50
I'm not generally real settled on how I feel about spirituality and the afterlife and God and religion. I just don't prescribe to any one way of thinking all that well. But anyone who wants to get into that with me, feel free to drop me a note sometime (TxJoshInLA@aol.com). Anyway...
Karen keeps joking about how Wendy is going to show up as a ghost and scare the crap out of her, but she's still in Angel Class learning how...sort of a Ghostly Apparitions 101. Personally, I have an image of that big Cheshire Cat grin of hers appearing first, but I'm pretty visual that way. But that's part of my problem...
My over-dramatic mind has always seen things that weren't there and made up stories to explain normal everyday stuff. Just because it's more interesting that way.
But last night, my dog would NOT get off my bed. Most of you don't know my dog (or me, for that matter), but you should know that she NEVER gets up on the bed. She sheds like crazy, and she knows I can't stand her getting in the bed and then I have to wash the sheets. She gets the whole rest of the apartment. All I ask for is the bed. But last night, not only did she get on the bed, but she would not get down.
I know I'm probably reading into things again, and that's why I'm posting this here because when I said it out loud to someone, I just sounded like such a schmuck that I couldn't stand it. But I really felt like Wendy was making Chloe stay on the bed. Chloe didn't want to be there; I could see in her eyes that she knew she was in trouble. But she wouldn't get down either. She just laid her head on my leg and risked me getting angry. Instead, the floodgates opened again for the first time in a few days and I just started leaking again.
Wendy used to give me such a hard time about not paying enough attention to my baby girl (who is currently sitting on my feet...trust me, this dog is adored!). For example, when she would babysit Chloe, she'd leave the door open while she peed. I looked shocked and Wendy said, "Try it. You see her pee all the time. She'll feel like things are more even if you'd leave the door open sometimes. It's a real bonding thing." I'm not going to tell you whether or not I tried this. Just because it's too embarassing.
Which means I did it, of course.
Shut up.
Yes, I use humor as a defense mechanism when I'm upset. Again, shut up. Anyway, I think I was like a quarter asleep or something because it was like I was almost having memories as waking dreams, but through it all, I really felt like Wendy was RIGHT THERE. Some were Wendy memories...like going to the Mary Chapin Carpenter concert. Others were memories of that week and the things I saw that I shouldn't have had to see and shouldn't have had to feel and should not have to remember. But through it all, I felt like Wendy was there coming through Chloe...or...something like that. I'm having trouble verbalizing my first possible ghost/angel/spirit experience.
In the past, when someone died, they were just dead. It was sad, but they were dead, and that was all. For me, anyway. But with Wendy...it's almost like she had so much energy and life and love that it's sort of still hanging around or...something. It's just so strong that it is proving to be quite confusing. On top of the grieving and the trying to move forward and celebrate life, I'm also trying to wrap my brain around the nature of human spirituality. In my spare time, of course.
So I'm not sure where this is going. I just thought I'd share in case anyone else is starting to get reports of strange supernatural events in their general vicinity...you aren't the only one!
Wendy, by typing this, I feel that I'm sending it out there and you'll find it...you know what I sent with you. You know why I sent them...I know I was crying, but I liked the visit. I'm pretty sure Chloe did, too.
Love, Josh
From: lqudevfc
Date: 06 Dec 2006
Time: 07:35:30
Remote Name: 209.195.227.11
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From: Doctus
Date: 14 Mar 2007
Time: 13:16:07
Remote Name: 207.44.251.144
wjoeatReally sorry http://stacweb.stac.edu/~athletics/mxc/ultram.htm of http://stacweb.stac.edu/~athletics/mxc/levitra.htm or http://stacweb.stac.edu/~athletics/mxc/xenical.htm if http://stacweb.stac.edu/~athletics/mxc/ambien.htm